Disclaimer: the GazettE not mine, thank you. Incidentally, can you imagine how much people who would persecute me because of them? I eh. I prefer my leisure ...
fic based on the novel (drama) called Ichi Ritoru no Namida (1 liter of tears). Who can watch, watch. Take 1 liter of tears, but learn to value their own lives. Complaining that bullshit is not worth it. That's what I wanted to go with this fic here as well.
wrote this fic at the time was still addicted to RxR, but for some reason, still think they better sãoo couple to fit this fic. hmm .. go figure.
in Ore koto wo wasureru kana?
(You forget me?)
[Reita's POV]
I'm here, sitting on that park bench, in the midst of autumn leaves fall and seeing the people go by. I watch everything, but without having the slightest interest. Because it was just this time, because this was just because praçae was just sitting here in this bank that I met someone special who changed the way I see this world.
How long has not happened after our meeting? Days, months, and even a few years ... It's been so long ... And I still can not decide if you only belong to my past or if he still is my present and future. I watch some more things around me and then I close my eyes, reliving that day.
~[*]~
was in first grade, in late August. I sat at the foot of a tree, watching students go rushing to class the first class of the day, while unlike the majority, I sat there in the same place, curious about the fact that my companion of many years have missed class the day before without telling me and even though I connected to his house later, no one had answered. My curiosity was increasing every second that I spent no news yet that his thoughts had stopped at the sight of the well-known blonde head coming.
I could not help smiling and got up going almost running toward him. But that curiosity was soon replaced by concern when she saw him with a huge bandage on his chin. As if reading my thoughts, you answered me before even hearing the question.
- Yesterday, when I was coming to school, I fell and hurt her chin ugly. Even had to do some tests later in hospital, nor had time to warn you, excuse Reita ...
smiled through his arm around his shoulders as we walked toward the room.
- places where Hurt?
Franzi forehead wondering when I saw his head negatively sway. As he had injured his chin like this seriously and there was no other scratch?
- I'm really awkward right?
smiled as she passed her hand to her head, messing up the hair that probably took hours to be fixed, getting a face in response. It was amazing how even his face became sullen adorable.
- But then King .. - Said while trying to straighten the hair go - What you wanted important to talk about yesterday?
- Ah ... That. I better tell you after class quietly. - I said smiling and then I saw the guy sulk, but then smiled as sweet as ever.
- You better tell me the same eh. I'm curious since yesterday.
As promised, I told him after class, when we walked toward our house and we walked through the park.
- I have not come here to ... - Just watch you stretch your arms close your eyes and breathe in deeply, enjoying the site.
- Remember this place chibi?
- And you forget how Rei-chan? It was precisely here that we met right? I think I was in fourth grade ... Yeah! We were in fourth grade and when I was coming home, I passed by here and saw you take care of the puppy dog that I cared too. Then we started talking and decided to try and find an owner for him ... When I see you had already turned my best friend, right Reita?
Sitting on the bench, nodding and smiling only after you breathe is that I could talk ...
- Exactly why this place is special Ru-chan, I want it to be the place to tell you one thing ...
- What Rei-chan?
- Ruki ... Want to date me?
~[*]~
The days that followed were only joy. We could say with great pleasure that we were the happiest couple in the world. But ... That would be tested. The test by which we had to go, I would not wish on anyone else. As much as I would hate the person. And the signs of it appeared.
Ruki often tried to reach some object, but wandered for a long distance, sometimes interfered with the movements and often lost his balance, and the worst was when we were climbing the stairs.
We had not gone far, only a few steps, but enough to make out a hemorrhage in his head.
see him in hospital with all those bandages and still being stuck with serum in the vein, his face pale, tired, dejected, but still smiling at me ... I could hardly hold back her tears.
-Ne ... Rei-chan .... I need to talk to you.
smiled and nodded as she saw me coming close your eyes and breathe deeply.
-Reita ... I think we better finish.
widened his eyes and stared frightened, waiting for him to say it was a joke in very bad taste, but seeing the serious expression, lowered my head, staring at the floor.
-Why do you think this Takanori?
-King ...
-tired of me by any chance?
-No! Rei ..
-Entãoo is it? There is another coincidence?
"But of course not Akira! This is absurd!
Then why Matsumoto wants to finish me? I asked already changed.
-Suzuki Simply because I'm dying ...
I felt my blood run cold and my body go limp. By little I did not fall. I was there, staring wide-eyed little.
-Ruki ... This wound will heal soon, you heard what the doctor said.
Non-Rei-chan ... - While denying he began to speak with the head - I have fallen out of balance and I like that is a symptom Reita ... I.. I have a disease that has no cure ... - He lowered his face, but I could see the tears that streamed down his face.
"Since when you know that ...?
-I was told ... About a week ago.
-That ... You lie Ru-chan, right? You. .. You are kidding me right?
- ... - He was silent for a while and took a deep breath before continuing - this disease ... Called "Spinocerebellar Degeneration" ... And there's no cure. They said that each day that passes I lose more balance ... No I can keep things ... There will come a day that will no longer be able to walk, talk ...
-Enough! Do not want to hear! - Put my hands in my ears and it was only then that I realized the tears that streamed down my face - Ruki ... Not true! You gotta be kidding me!
-King ...
this time a nurse came asking for me to calm down.
- THE PERSON THAT I LOVE ME MORE SAYS AND DYING ME YOU HAVE TO STAY CALM? - Asked indignantly, and after that only saw the nurse call Alguema soon I realized it, it was getting dark.
Then when I awoke, still groggy because of the sedative or tranquilizer, whatever. And in searching for information about my low voice, knew how he wept uncontrollably, had to sedate him, too. The time that I discovered this, I wanted to beat me. How can I have lost control and let him crying thinking that I should be hating him for hiding it from me?
I went as fast as I could to his room, but he remained unconscious. I smiled when she saw him sleeping so calm and I reached a point of sitting in bed as he began to stroke her hair. Shortly after I hear it whisper my name softly.
"I'm here with you my love. On his side, as I always do ... - And then he slowly opened his eyes, like those movie scenes, you know? So perfect ...
-Gomen ne Rei-chan ... - I saw the tears to flow back and I cleaned it with my hand, the sweetest smile I could.
-I who must apologize you ... Sorry ... Because it changed me and even remembered that those who should be afraid and angry is you ...
He just smiled and laughed softly.
-I know Reita. I knew it would have that same reaction ... - And then his smile became wistful.
"But I want to apologize for something else too - I meant it and I saw him stare at me without understanding - Sorry love, but not I accept that our relationship ends! Not that obliges me to macarena dance in the street ... - Spoke in a serious tone and then started laughing.
~[*]~
The days have passed since that episode of the hospital were perfect as they ever were when we were together. Only little by little the symptoms were appearing and not improving, however, only worsened increasingly, to the point Ruki be forced to use a wheelchair.
My Ruki could no longer walk.
And from what I know (ie, Ruki told me so), the doctor had said that because of the disease appear so then there could be chances that it would progress more ha Fast.
When I heard that, I could not think of anything but how this disease is cruel. Because I just could not decide which was worse: being deprived of a lifetime to do many things and live a little longer, or if you live normally and see everything destroyed when he discovers that going to be allowed to do everything he did and have short life;
Like I could not decide, also could not prevent tears from falling while he hugged me tightly Ruki crying, calling me and asking me to could not leave. I replied only that she loved him and would never leave her side, her voice low, and soon we were both crying hugging.
continue even after we have already embraced in the hushed, but still I could feel a few tears that escaped the eyes of Ruki.
Reita-Ne ... - I could hardly hear so discouraged and tired that he was - What do I do now? I can not go and write has become increasingly difficult ... Is ... I should not die right away?
eyes widened and quickly undid the hug.
-What ... you said ...?
He just sighed and stroked my face with that expression so melancholy.
-Reita ... You know ... Every day that passes I only worse ...
Ruki-No! I. .. You can not quit! - Spoke in desperate tone and he just shook his head.
"You know that has no cure Aki-chan ...
Ruki-No! I will not leave! - Firm and said he just smiled.
-King ...
Ruki-Do not leave me ... Do not do it ... - I felt more tears by running down my face as I was joining their hands and stroked with my own, just me and lowering his head resting on his lap.
-Arigatou ne ... Rei-chan ... - Ruki said in my ear so sweet it could not stand it and started crying like a big baby he stroked my head, smiling sweetly.
~[*]~
-Ruki bought something for you! - Said as soon as I opened the door to his room.
"You always buy Reita! - He answered me laughing at his bed, as she waited for me to approach, something I did quickly, giving a kiss on her forehead and stealing one of his lips then.
"If I did not, would not be a good boyfriend and you end up getting changed, right? - Ruki just shook his head, smiling.
-Bobo! And what you bought for me this time? - Despite knowing that he hit me if I discovered I could not help but think that he was the cutest creature with glowing eyes, trying to see what I was carrying.
-bought a new notebook and pens. - Said delivering and making him smile even more open - you write enough you know? This here is the third book!
-As if I had something to do when you're not here. This hospital is so dull without you ... Aki - Smile and her hair messed with mãoe got a sweet smile in response.
About Hospital ... How Ruki increasingly worsened, the danger of choking him to death with their own saliva was increasingly high. Until he did speak slower now, it was not by his choice.
"But what you write much huh? - Asked curiously sitting on the edge of his bed and he just held the book against his chest as if to protect him, even that new notebook being blank.
-One day you will discover! - And we both smiled. The
hugged the waist bringing me closer to him and leaned her head on my chest, closing her eyes.
"Why not make a video? Should be more fun to write ...
-Not really. - Yawn - videos no fun if you do alone and I want to keep writing even when it goes!
- Hmm .. What if one day we made a video of just us two?
Ruki smiled and agreed with me, but then lay down, saying he would drop off a little.
And so, as usual, I had certified that Ruki slept and read her notebook, where he wrote his desires and dreams, something he did not dare ask. I always read hidden and I always managed to answer it, and as usual it was always related to my actions, it was always easy. As an example, I tell him I loved him every day, to hug him, bringing gifts, etc..
But ... What I read surprised me this time.
"Did you ever forget me?"
I left the notebook down so I laid my eyes on Ruki who was sleeping so calm in that bed. The hugged tightly, but noo enough to hurt him, and woke up in the process.
... ... ta-king?
-Never.
-Anh? Reita ... What happened?
I will never forget you, Ruki.
~[*]~
became increasingly difficult to have to find Ruki. Seeing him like that hurt too much. Intubated, without speaking, unable to walk and moving only with great effort. To communicate, Ruki pointed with the syllables that the finger had a little plate of plastic and we were reading until they formed the sentence and understood what he meant.
spinocerebellar degeneration. Cruel disease, no? Because even in this state, the person I love most is still the same as always. Reasoning is the same thinking can usually see things as always, to hear ... But even trying, your body does not obey. Even willing to talk, can not. Even wanting to move is impossible.
It was increasingly difficult to enter that room and hold the cry, smile and pretend everything was fine. But the worst was when I did not need to pretend anymore.
My Ruki was gone.
After so much suffering, he could finally rest now. He had left me.
So I came back from his funeral, I was reading the books he wrote when both could still hold their pens. What was my surprise to find that one of them was actually a book! A book for all those who despised and seed claimed her life. And the first page was written
"Tell him how you want your life is not fair. But only say it when you know mine. Yes there will know how much is blessed.
Takanori Matsumoto. "
In that book were all the details of the life of Ruki from the day he learned of the disease. That book was the diary of Ruki. I smiled as he began to read and smiles even more when I realized I still had Ruki me, whether in written words on those sheets, photos or videos we recorded. He there was still keeping me company! And at the end of that book, notebook, Ruki had left a message for me.
"Ne ... Reita ... Did you like this surprise? Gomen have hidden it for so long ... But I really want it to be a surprise for when I am no longer physically at his side. Because you know ... Just as you promise to never leave my side, I'll never leave her!
will always be protecting you as you do to me since we met, because now it's my turn, okay?
Ah ... I know you conheçoe will want to publish it. I do not care. Actually I'll be even happier since I had a great job of writing a book, literally!
Thank you for being strong, do not leave me and always supporting me.
I love you and love you forever.
Eternally yours,
Ruki. "
I took a lot care, but could not prevent two tears watered it so precious that message. And as Ruki suspected, the next day I had gone for a publisher that would make available to publish the book.
Even today I get letters from readers saying how much they would like to have known my blond when he was alive. Just smile and reply that my beloved was exactly like what he wrote in the book, and that's why everyone knew him as if he was even alive. But the letter that caught my Warning: The always make me smile was the one that said I really should be an important person "Takanori-san 'and that he must have been happy just to have me by your side a person who loved him so much love and had responded in the same intensity.
"'Does a day you forget me? "
When he read the writing in my notebook, I was sleeping and woke up in his arms, wrapped in a bear hug and with her tears wetting my clothes.
He had said that I never forget. And I believe. Yes, I completely because I know exactly what he feels. I also am unable to forget it one day.
Even knowing that he would respond so fortunate to hear the answer made me want to live. It also made me hate my life cursed by this disease, but mostly made me want to continue living just to spend more time on your side ... "
~ Owari ~
(end)
Note: This disease is real and still has no cure. Here in Brazil there are people with these diseases, so that one speaks up for everyone to learn to value their own lives, their own health. Even though unfortunately not remember his name ...
(Aqruivo)
